My 2 Year Cancerversary
Hello, my name is Yolanda and I am a breast cancer survivor…
I don’t know if there is a “rule” to cancerversaries, i.e. your cancer anniversary. Me, personally, I celebrate all of my cancer milestones. Am I the only one that remembers all the dates of this crazy cancer journey? I mean, to me they were dates that would forever change my life and they need to be recognized, right?!
Well, this month marks a 2-year cancerversary for me. July 1, 2016, I had my last of 4 chemo treatments and would soon start my radiation treatments. No one ever wants to hear the C word at any point in their life time, but it seemed all more daunting to hear it at 36. Probably as most bc survivors and thrivers can attest, it changes your life forever. Who you were before is no more, and you fight every day to live a “regular” life and still deal with the disease that you are faced with.
To be honest, up until this this year, I didn’t know what it really meant to be a survivor. Everyone’s story and journey are different. How people react to treatment and the medicine is different. I know what it means to live through it all but are there “cancer survivor requirements”? Like, is there a committee of men and women who give a thumbs up or down on your survivorship and access into this unwanted club? Being new to this club and not having anyone my age close to me that could give me pointers and tips to navigate this new life, I was forced to find resources on my own, create my own support system of people who had no idea what I was going through, and stand on my own 2 feet praying I have made the right decisions in regards to my treatment plan.
What have I learned in 2 years? What can I give to other young ladies going through what I have? Are there things I would advise for those going through chemo or radiation? Can I say that I am an expert just because I have gone through this experience? I have had so many questions in these last 2 years of physically living cancer free, but the truth is, you never really get rid of cancer. Although there may be no evidence of the disease, the aftermath of it lingers for the rest of your life. If I had to list a few things that I have learned since my diagnosis, these would be the top 3.
First, remember the bigger picture. Yes, there are times and places to be serious and on task. When faced with challenges before breast cancer, I kind of put up a wall to my true spontaneous emotions, thus only giving off my serious side. People would tell me all the time to lighten up or to smile because life isn’t that bad and not to be so serious all the time. I didn’t really pay people that much attention because this was who I was… right? It was who I had become and who I was to be. After cancer, those thoughts and dispositions changed. What I thought was a big deal before and was stressing over, wasn’t even worth my mental space or physical time! I find myself now smiling and laughing for no reason whatsoever. Weird? I think it comes down to facing death. When you find out in your 30’s that you have a disease that, based on society “usually kills people”, you learn to see the real serious things in life and realize everything else was really trivial.
Second, help others navigate what you have gone through and lived through. Going through any medical diagnosis can be daunting, at any age. When you face what is often seen as a deadly disease, it makes you see what is really important in life and everything that isn’t sort of falls away. The last day of my 6-week long course of radiation, I wrote in my journal that I wanted to give back to others with all I have learned during my breast cancer journey. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t know it all! Every day I am still learning my “new normal” and navigating from the old to the new – but there is no better feeling than knowing that you are helping someone else navigate around and through something you have survived.
Third, find your tribe. I was not prepared for the fall away of some of my closest friends and even family once my diagnosis was known. It was a complete shock to see who wasn’t even remotely there for me during all or any of the different phases of my journey with cancer. What happened though, is those that were here to stick around and ride the journey out with me rose to the top! People I wouldn’t have imagined reaching out to me to help or even visit with me briefly. It is those I call my tribe, my peeps! These are the ones I didn’t have to explain how I felt or why I was feeling the way I was. They allowed me to be who I was in every moment during active treatment and even now in trying to navigate my new normal. Does it still hurt to think of the relationships I have lost or others that have dramatically altered since my diagnosis? Of course, but I concentrate on those that love me and are here now! These are the ones who give encouraging words when I least expect it and I know I can count on them!!
Lastly, take care of you! I think this is self-explanatory. Your body has gone through a lot dealing with cancer or any other diagnosis you have had to face. But in the small moments think of you! Self-care is critical for your healing and should be seen as something that is necessary to move forward effectively after all you have been through! As we know, we are all different so self-care for each of us will look differently. Attend a yoga class, take up pottery, or learn how to quilt. Take a spa day, get a manicure or pedicure, or just sit and read your favorite book. In the long run, it will pay off and you will start to see the effects of focusing on yourself.
There so many other things I could have listed but these are the tops things I think most important to me after diagnosis. These things have helped me tremendously to get where I am 2 years later! If you can think of any others that were important to you, let me know!
YM
